A recent statement by Nigerian lawyer Ilavbare Goldfish Rahmatulai has sparked discussions about the role of male upbringing in the success of marriages. In a Facebook post dated October 11, 2026, Rahmatulai emphasized that a staggering 80% of marital failures can be traced back to how men are raised, based on her extensive experience counseling couples.

Rahmatulai, who has provided guidance to over 100 couples in the past three years, pointed out that while some marital issues can be attributed to 'naturally bad women,' the majority stem from men who lack the necessary discipline and accountability required for lasting commitments. She argued that many men enter marriages unprepared for the responsibilities that come with them.

In her post, Rahmatulai stated, "This isn't for anger or insults but for sober reflection. If there is one primary lesson those sessions have taught me (and from my own lived experience), it's this: most marriages fail because of how men are raised." This candid reflection has resonated with many, prompting a broader conversation about societal expectations and the upbringing of boys in Nigeria.

The lawyer also urged the current generation, particularly those from Generation X, to take proactive steps in raising their sons with a focus on responsibility and emotional maturity. "GEN X, let us do better with our children, especially our sons. There is still time," she concluded, encouraging parents to reflect on their roles in shaping the future of their children’s relationships.

Rahmatulai's insights come at a time when marriage stability is increasingly being scrutinized in Nigeria, with many young couples facing challenges that threaten the longevity of their unions. Her remarks highlight the need for a cultural shift in how boys are educated about relationships and commitment, suggesting that a more responsible upbringing could lead to healthier marriages in the future.

As discussions continue, it remains to be seen how this perspective will influence parenting practices and societal norms regarding male behavior in relationships. The conversation initiated by Rahmatulai serves as a reminder of the critical role upbringing plays in shaping not just individuals, but the fabric of society as a whole.